There’s a moment every year when the air shifts. You notice it before you can name it. The light lingers a little longer. The mornings feel less heavy. You can actually open a window. And after months of winter, gray skies, early nights, and a kind of quiet survival, I, personally, think: I’m coming back.
This is spring. To me, it always feels like relief. Like awakening. Like possibility. But here’s something we don’t talk about enough: For many people, spring is also when things feel the hardest.
We often associate winter with struggle, and for good reason. Seasonal depression is real and something I personally suffer from. Every fall, my doctor raises my Zoloft dose by 50 mg, knowing that darker days essentially lead to darker mood. I also up my yoga practice in fall and through the winter, because it brings me happiness, warmth and joy. The darkness, the isolation, the cold: it all adds up. But research has consistently shown that suicide rates actually peak in the spring and early summer, not winter. It feels counterintuitive, doesn’t it? When everything around you is coming back to life, why might someone feel worse?
Here are a few possible reasons:
Energy returns before hope does
In winter, you may feel low, but also too depleted to act on anything. In spring, your energy may start to come back before your thoughts or emotions can catch up, and possibly lead to impulsive or destructive decision making.
The world gets louder
There are more plans, more expectations, and more, “You should feel better by now.” You’re expected to be out of your funk, and that can sometimes be harder than being in your funk.
Comparison creeps in
Everyone seems to be thriving, resetting, and blooming. They’re out and their Instagram feeds show they’re living their best lives. If you’re sitting at home, still feeling like you’re not living yours, it can feel isolating as you scroll.
Emotional thawing
The numbness of winter fades, and feelings, grief, anxiety, sadness may start to surface again.
There can be an unspoken pressure to match the energy of the season.
To be productive.
To be inspired.
To be better.
And if I’m being honest, as a creator, founder, and mom of three, sometimes the pressure feels paralyzing. Now that winter’s over, I have no excuse to lock myself inside my house. My kids want to go outside and I have to see that through for them. In winter, I can blame the cold, the snow and the viral sicknesses that spread faster than flames. But in spring, I have no excuses.
I remember one year, towards the end of pandemic, my anxiety was at its worst. It kept me in bed throughout so much of winter, and this was after I already quit drinking. This was around the time I started taking Zoloft again and it helped, but it also set an expectation that I wasn’t ready to meet. I was better now, thanks to the medications, but I wasn’t ready to dive in to be a fully functioning human yet, and I felt like I had to. That transition was such a difficult yet pivotal moment in my life, and there are certain things I did that helped me get to the other side:
1. I don’t rush the transition
I let myself still be slow, still be soft, still be in-between. You can’t rush your way to catch up on everything you missed in winter. And honestly, there is no reason to. Over the years I’ve learned that everything will be there waiting for me when I’m ready.
2. I protect my nervous system more than my productivity
There are a lot of opportunities in spring. But before I agree to anything, I ask myself:
● Does this feel grounding or depleting?
● Would I still say yes if no one saw it online?
● Will this move my life or business forward?
● Am I saying yes out of obligation?
It’s impossible to attend every event, gala, kid’s birthday party and family event without getting burnt out and over socialized, which for me, worsens my anxiety. Over time, you learn what and who deserves your energy.
3. I get outside, but without pressure to “optimize it”
Not every walk needs to be a workout. Not every sunny day needs to be “productive.”
Sometimes it’s just sitting on the steps, letting the kids run around, feeling the sun on my face, and reading a book.
4. I watch my mental health more closely, not less
Just because winter is ending doesn’t mean I stop checking in with myself.
In fact, I check in more:
● How am I actually feeling?
● What thoughts are coming up?
● What do I need today?
5. I normalize mixed emotions
You can feel grateful for the sunshine, and still feel overwhelmed.
You can feel excited for what’s ahead, and still feel anxious or low.
Both can exist simultaneously and they often do.
Accept those emotions that come together, even when they don’t make sense.
6. I stay connected, even when I feel “better”
It’s easy to withdraw when things feel off.
So I make it a point to:
● text a friend
● sit longer at the park
● say yes to connection in small ways
● reserve the yoga class
7. I remind myself that healing isn’t seasonal
There’s no deadline for feeling okay and I don’t owe anyone anything.
If spring feels heavier than you expected, you are not alone, you are not behind, and you are not doing anything wrong. This season doesn’t require you to bloom overnight. It just asks you to be still and take it in.
Before you leave this post, I want you to ask yourself:
● What do I actually need right now?
● What would it look like to move slower this season?
● Who can I reach out to today?
And if you feel the desire to, send me a DM through my Instagram. I would love to connect and compare our emotional dooms. Jokes aside, I am only a message away.
Spring is not just about growth. It’s about transition, and transitions are messy.
So, if all you’re doing right now is showing up, taking care of yourself, and getting through the day, it’s more than enough.
Jyoti can be found on Instagram @mamajotes.