Out of the Darkness Walker Spotlight Interview: Ramani Rangavajhula

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Since 2002, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Walks have brought friends, neighbors, family members and colleagues together to walk through their communities to raise public awareness and funds to support suicide prevention. The following is one of a series of interviews conducted with Walkers about their own connection to the cause, and what the Out of the Darkness Walks mean to them.

Together, let’s walk.

Do you have a personal connection to suicide?

I lost my daughter to suicide seven years ago, while she was a student in college.

Saipriya was a daughter every parent would dream of: loving, thoughtful, always thinking of others, smart, beautiful, extremely well-read, and opinionated. She could hold a conversation with anyone. We didn’t see her death coming. We were like any other family. Mom and dad, two kids cruising along life.

I returned to Saipriya’s college campus in 2018 to attend one of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Campus Walks. Going back to walk on Saipriya’s campus grounds has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. But this yearly event has become our annual pilgrimage to a place my daughter much loved.

That first Campus Walk at her school was rather small. But in the years since, I have seen this particular Campus Walk grow. The 2022 event was attended by the college president and Virginia’s State Health Secretary. It sends a message to the other students, and the campus community, that they are not alone.

In addition to the Campus Walk, I have also now attended AFSP’s Community Walks, and the annual Overnight Walk, in which people walk together from dusk to dawn – literally out of the darkness.

I will do everything in my power to help this cause.

What does it mean to you to walk together toward a world without suicide?

Walking with other people in honor of this cause helps me in many ways. The Out of the Darkness Walks provide a sense of community, and give you the feeling that you are not the only one going through this. You meet new people, and gain new perspective by hearing others’ experiences.

One thing that helped me was that I heard how other suicide loss survivors had coped with their own loss. Showing up to the Walks sends a message to others that it’s important to talk openly not just about suicide, but mental health in general. It’s an opportunity to destigmatize this important subject. I find the Walks inspiring, and got involved with fundraising as well, because I know it’s what makes possible efforts like support for those who’ve lost loved ones, suicide prevention education, research, and advocacy.

What do you think is special about the Out of the Darkness Walks?

The theme of bringing suicide out of the darkness is so poignant. It means so much to encourage others to come out of the darkness of depression, or loss, or whatever type of struggle someone may be going through. Meeting so many people who are passionate about mental health is truly phenomenal.

The Community Walks bring so many people with different backgrounds together, which I think further helps decrease stigma and isolation. The Campus Walks have a similar purpose, but they are unique in the shared experience of many of the participants being young students, along with those who support them. 

What’s particularly special about the Overnight Walk is that it does involve some physical challenge. It’s all night, and generally about 16 miles. The physical training and preparation also acts as a mental training that helps many people face their pain and process what they’re going through. As a Walker, even just in the lead-up to the event, your heart is filled with the warmth and affection of so many others in the Walks community who you know are walking right alongside you in this journey. 

I truly feel it is my calling to do this work.